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Life in the Ville by Jimmy Del Ponte
First published in the June 10, 2009 edition.
As a nosey loudmouth who always adds his two cents, whether anyone wants to hear it or not, here comes about $500.00 worth of gripes.
It’s hard enough driving in the first place, but when a jogger is running toward you in traffic, that is just plain treacherous. First, you have to swerve away from him or her because, well, it’s a natural reaction. This poses the problem of swerving into the oncoming traffic, thus scarring the hell out of the driver in the other lane. WHY? Why do you people want to give us drivers heart attacks?
Some of you city sprinters choose to run in the middle of the two lines of traffic. This is not a smart idea either. You are obviously trying to take care of yourselves by exercising, and that’s great – but what if you get clipped by a car? They’ll be saying, “it’s such a shame he’s gone, but boy, wasn’t he in good physical shape?” You could also be the cause of a horrific car accident with drivers nervously trying you avoid hitting you and hitting other cars. It’s time you exercise nuts used some consideration and think of the safety of others while toning your bodies. There has to be a reasonable and intelligent co-existence between jogger and driver.
Now let’s discuss you gas saving cyclers. God love ya! Can you please try to stay a little closer to the parked side of the street, please? I know it’s difficult and I’ve said it before, but please remember that it’s hard to stop our vehicles on a dime. Some of you bikers taunt us drivers, but we really are just trying not to hit you. Honest. The blinking lights at night really help too, thank you. And I believe you bike people are supposed to ride WITH the traffic.
When I see a bicycle heading toward me, I start sweating profusely. You are taking precious moments off of my life. Please stop trying to take me out. We have to share the road. And do I even have to mention the granddaddy of all driver’s nightmares? It’s those cyclers who are towing junior behind them in those canvas rickshaw thingies. God help us.
Now, let’s rap about you speeders and tailgaters. Slow the hell down. There are kids everywhere. And most of you jerks who are driving like Speed Racer down residential streets are on your cell phones. Do you know why they call them cell phones? It’s because, God forbid, you hurt someone, you’ll end up in a cell. There was a guy years ago who would throw rotten apples at speeding cars – ah the good old days. And just a word to you out of state drivers who are habitual tailgaters. Haven’t you caught on yet? The closer you are to a Somerville driver’s car, the slower we go. Come on, get with the program.
One more word to pedestrians, who I am proudly one and want to stay one. You must make sure the driver acknowledges that he sees you before you proceed into the crosswalk. I used to do this myself, but I’ve really smartened up lately. I just told you about speeders and cell phone talking drivers. Do not assume that just because it is a crosswalk that a driver is going to stop. Sometimes they are not paying attention, and sometimes the drivers are not aware that there is in fact a crosswalk. Make sure they see you. Take that extra safe second to actually make sure the car slows down before you walk across the street.
Also, if you just dart across the street willy-nilly, tossing caution to the wind, that’s very foolish. Some cars take an awful long time to stop, and if their brakes are bad, well, that just makes it worse. Believe me no driver wants to hurt a pedestrian, so please help us out. A mother or dad who is driving a mini-van full of screaming kids deserves a break. Do not assume that they will see you. And bikers, lose the iPods and pay attention.
Drivers, especially you out of state BMWs – lighten up on attitude and the gas pedal. I drive at least 100 miles a week in and around the ‘Ville, so I see it all.
We welcome everyone to Somerville, but please be careful and practice safety and consideration on our roads.
Bottom line, let’s all strive for a safer Somerville – drivers, slow down and get off the cell phones; joggers and bikers, let’s all drive in safe harmony. Did any of you joggers hear that we have a wonderful bike path available? And you guys who run down College Avenue and through the Square, for God’s sake keep your shirts on.
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Bravo, Jimmy. And I’ll add one more. Can these hollier-than-art-thou bikers please consider stopping at a red light once in awhile? I’m talking about places like Inman Square in Cambridge, one of the most dangerous intersections in the state. I’ve seen lots of close calls there. Especially during the morning and afternoon rush. Also on Mass Ave in Cambridge heading into Arlington. I know those red lights on every block really suck, but they are there for a reason. They are there for your (bikers) safety as well as for drivers and pedestrians. I’m just saying, a couple of days ago I almost got plowed into by a Lance Armstrong wannabe on a bike who was FLYING down Mass Ave while I was in a crosswalk, legally crossing at a red light, who had absolutely positively NO intention of stopping, or even slowing down. Let’s start respecting the rules of the road, and each other.
The state and city tell you to remain at least 1m from any parked car when cycling. This is generally on the bike lane line in towards the center of the street. If a driver opens a door, and you were too close to the parked cars, you could be thrown into traffic. Multiple people in Somerville and Cambridge have died this way. And as always, even with a bike lanes, which often have potholes, they’re entitled to use the whole lane at all times. I am always shocked at how close they bike near the parked cars.