Life in the Ville by Jimmy Del Ponte

Another one bites the dust. Kmart, in Assembly Square Marketplace, if it’s still called that, is closing. Just another part of our past that will soon be just a memory. My dear friend Blanche used to shop at its distant relative Kresge’s Basement. It’s getting to the point that conversations begin with, “remember when…?”

So remember when The Assembly Square Mall was thriving?

Mostly all of the Somerville longtime residents I speak to are not happy with what has happened to Somerville. Don’t get me wrong, I know that change is inevitable but It’s a fact that when these familiar and comfortable stores, businesses and landmarks disappear, a piece of our hearts are also gone forever. And there’s nothing we can do about it except shake our heads and say, “What a damn shame.” It’s sad that stores like Kmart are underachieving and becoming history.

Assembly Square got its name from The Ford Motor Company’s assembly plant that was built in 1926 when my Dad was six years old. When the Ford plant closed, First National Stores opened a manufacturing and distribution center there. Remember when the huge water tower was still on the site? Where is that now? Hopefully it’s not rotting away someplace or already scrapped. I’m sure it’s still around someplace.

But I know there are other parts of The Assembly Square area before Assembly Row that now only exist in our memories or sometimes on Wikipedia or Facebook. Places like the infamous Dapper Dan’s Restaurant, Building 19, and Jordan Marsh were stores we Somerville folks frequented and enjoyed. I hope the following list of former stores is correct. I’m relying on my Facebook friends’ memories and my own. Here they are:

Orange Julius, Papa Gino, Radio Shack, KB Toys, Suit Yourself (featuring Franco aka The Iron Messiah, where the beauty is always on duty!), Tellos, Windsor Button, Roland’s Jewelry, (one of the first stores there, opened in October 16, 1980) Baker’s Shoes, Hello Kitty, Claire’s, 5,7,9, 16 Plus, Friendly’s, Jeans West, Dunkin Donuts, Walden Books, Thom McCann, Cummings, Weathervane, Sam Goody, Tees and Tops, Charles Fried Dough, Lane Bryant, Foxmoor, Wilson Leather, Rave, Learners, Maryann, Debs, Macys, Kristy’s Kids, Contempo Casuals, McDonalds, Paperama, Foot Locker, Express, PJ Pets, No Name Store, Dress Barn, Wild Pair, Cherry Webb and Touraine, NY and Co., Kristi’s Korner, Emphasis, Command Performance, The Streudel Shop, Sulgraves, Lechters, Just Sweats (or Sweets!), Record Town, The Complete Athlete, The Sports Memorabilia Store, My Hero, G and G, Coda, The Luggage Store, KB Toys, Tobacco Shed, Anderson Little, Nature Food Center, The Shed place, Kay Jewelers, and Casual Corner. Don’t forget the movie theatre around the corner, which is also gone. I heard Federal Realty bought out Kmart’s lease for 14.5 million bucks.

I don’t know if it’s changed but the last time I checked, there were no crosswalk traffic lights from the Kmart parking lot to Assembly Row making crossing very treacherous. Are there any traffic lights there at all? What genius is responsible for that oversight? It’s not one of my favorite places at all although I do occasionally eat at Tony C’s. The only other time I go anywhere near Assembly Row, is looking for sneakers with my sons. I don’t like that area at all. It’s always crowded and uncomfortable and hard to drive to. But driving in Somerville in general is a nightmare. I refuse to pay the rip-off prices at the theatre. I don’t care how comfy the seats are!

Oh, and by the way, we recently found out that a bunch of Bed Bath, and Beyond stores are also closing. Go figure.

Have I simply become a grumpy old man who hates everything new or do I have a legitimate gripe? I like new clothes! I thought our taxes would have at least leveled off with all the new revenue the city is raking in from The Assembly Row projects. Did they? When they were pitching the idea wasn’t there some mention of the expansion and development helping the hard working people of Somerville? Another BS story. Someone’s benefitting but it sure as hell ain’t me. As usual, the rich get richer. I’m sorry for the people at Kmart who are losing them jobs.

Final thoughts: most people I spoke to agreed with me that Dapper Dan’s, where I hosted Karaoke in the early ‘90’s, was the most popular of all the businesses formerly at Assembly Square Mall. Rest in peace my dear friend Danny Kallis. You are very missed.

As Colombo used to say “Just one more thing,” I still have a shirt from Chess King.