Life in the Ville by Jimmy Del Ponte

Disclaimer: at no time would I ever take lightly the importance of support groups.

There’s lots of support and service groups available. I go to AA for my sobriety, I joined AAA for my cars, but I think we need one more. AAAA. Avid Amazon Abusers of America. I’m appointing myself as the Grand Exalted Mystic Poobah of AAAA.

Have you noticed a recent new vehicle among the number of Uber and Lyfts, Russell Disposal, Door-Dashers, and mail trucks on your street? Those packages don’t just magically appear on porches. It’s the ever present Amazon delivery van. Just as we used to see the milkman, the Dydee Diaper guy, and that old orange DPW swill truck on our streets, we now see various Amazon delivery vehicles. A lot! Move over shopping network.

Before malls, and big box stores, we did our shopping at stores like Bradlees, Zayre, JM Fields, Lechmere Sales, WT Grant, Service Merchandise, and Somerville Lumber. If we needed something we knew where to get it. Just in Davis Square alone we had a yarn shop, a sewing shop, a smoke shop, a children’s shop, and a bargain basement. There were shoe stores, record shops and drug stores. My aunts and my mom used to go “down the square” every day, sometimes several times a day.

After we picked up a tin of Kiwi Brown shoe polish, a plant watering can, some ponytail elastics, or some razor blades, we may pop into one of those instant photograph booths for a quick laugh. Now, if you need something but don’t want to budge off the couch, you shop on Amazon.com.

I was “Amazed” at how many people I spoke to told me that they also order way too much stuff on their devices. It’s too easy. And it’s just as easy to lose track of how much you are spending.

We all still enjoy a trip to Target, BJ’s or Walmart (if we want to fight the traffic), but these days it’s become more convenient to “let your fingers do the walking”… and the shopping.

Amazon is growing by astronomical leaps and bounds, and I’m helping it. Ordering stuff has become as easy as changing the channel with the remote. I’ve successfully ordered new blinds, various items for our bathroom, including shower curtains, sink organizers and even a lovely lighted medicine cabinet. I’ve purchased Yogi Bear DVDs, Levi’s, sneakers, an Italian flag jacket, a cowboy hat, T-shirts, a TB 12 cap, a foot massager, and a heated seat massager. I got some license plate screws, and even TV’s infamous Flex Tape.

I realized the spending was out of control when my son confronted me. My graveyard of empty Amazon mailing envelopes and boxes suggested that I may have a problem. A shopaholic. Great! Just what I need, another obsession.

We all love getting packages. It’s like Christmas every day. We eagerly anticipate the arrival of the plant food, carpel tunnel brace, talking picture frame, night light, or exercise video we ordered. We even get delivery updates on our phones! “Your item is four stops away!” Yay!

Unfortunately, we must deal with the risk of package thieves too. Imagine the disappointment a crook would experience when he opens a stolen Amazon package thinking it’s a watch, cell phone, or jewelry, only to find doggie aspirins, size 13 odor eaters or a gadget that illuminates the commode.