Life in the Ville by Jimmy Del Ponte 

(The opinions and views expressed in the commentaries of The Somerville Times belong solely to the authors of those commentaries and do not reflect the views or opinions of The Somerville Times, its staff or publishers)

Unless you are a bank robber, embezzler, common thief, con-artist, or just a jerk, you may not have a list of resolutions this year. Jerks for the most part don’t think they are jerks so why would they want to change? Giving up smoking is always one worth trying, but normal workaday folks probably don’t have to worry about major changes. We can, however wish for other people to make some minor tweaks in their personalities. Say … your boss or a co-worker has an annoying habit that bugs you, now would be a good time for them to ease up on it. Ya, like that’s going to happen!

Where did all this resolution stuff come from anyway? Wikipedia tells us that the ancient Babylonians made promises to their gods at the start of each year that they would return borrowed objects and repay their debts. Over the years goals that people set for themselves involve healthy eating, weight loss, exercise, finance reform, positive thinking, spending quality time with friends and family, volunteering time to needy and elderly, reducing stress, traveling, reading more, trying new foods, settling down and getting married, or trying something daring, challenging, and dangerous. Isn’t getting married trying something daring, challenging and dangerous? Hey everyone should try it at least once.

I took a little walk yesterday since I have been on vacation and have not started the list of things I planned to accomplish while away from the job. I decided to walk from my house to my favorite spot … Davis Square. And since I hadn’t really sunk my teeth into my own resolutions, I thought I would observe the public for a while. In other words, I was looking for trouble. I would see if I could see any bad habits people around my own neighborhood could change. I didn’t set out to be judgmental … just observant, with an opinion, and too much time on my hands.

I walked out my door and right off the bat I see an empty Starbucks cup in the gutter. This person needs to resolve to not being a litter-pig. Then I notice someone had parked too close to my driveway. This driver should work on his/her depth perception. Next, a Black BMW blows through the stop sign. This nut should resolve to obey laws. And that’s it! I made it all the way to Davis Square without seeing any more infractions! Good for us! We are a pretty classy city on the whole.

If you have something that you want to resolve to change, that’s your business. Of course, I’m not going to mention the kid with the dual stretched ear pierces and black fingernail polish … because … that’s my son! God bless him and everyone’s right to express themselves. After all, I was the hippie-est hippie in The Ville back in the day. I can’t wait to see the tattoos he decides on. (Oy Vey!)

1. Monday, December 29th: Okay, now its my turn. I have been off from work since Thursday the 18th. I planned to clean out a bunch of crap from this hoarders paradise that I call my home. I have made two bags for the Big Brothers Big Sisters that they picked up already. I have been watching football, The Nanny, John Wayne movies and Wonder Woman on TV. I have, however, hit the gym everyday … I have been eating Christmas leftovers … But no cleaning! I am off until January 2 but I have no ambition to toss crap out. Now its Monday and there is more football and more food (I did make it to Stop’ N Shop to stock up on more football watching food). I could and should make a resolution to clean this place … we’ll see.
2. Wednesday, December 31st: (New Year’s Eve) I just finished two days of cleaning. I still have a ways to go, but I’m making progress and there seems to be hope for me.
3. For the most part it will be a quiet New Year’s Eve spent with loved ones. Nothing like the old days when you would wake up on January 1st with a hangover. The photo up top is of me and my two boys who are now almost 19 and 17. We sure had fun back then. And I am still having fun! Yay for fun! If 2015 is anything like 2014 I will be very happy. Good health has blessed my friends and family. Happy New Year to all who read this column. Happiness and health to you and yours.