Life in the Ville by Jimmy Del Ponte

(The opinions and views expressed in the commentaries of The Somerville Times belong solely to the authors of those commentaries and do not reflect the views or opinions of The Somerville Times, its staff or publishers)

Reprinted, revised and borrowed from articles of Christmas past.

For years I wrote Christmas parodies with my counterpart Tom Doyle formerly of WROR. My songs have graced the airwaves of Kiss 108, Eagle 93.7, and Oldies 103. It was a great run! You can see some of my silliness on A Very Seriously Somerville Christmas on city cable channels 13 and 22, and by following this link: youtube.com/somervillecitytv.

Some of my past Christmas favorites have been: Go Shave ye Hairy Gentlemen, We Three Kids from Orient Heights, Waiting For a Win at Wonderland and I’m Fleeing in A White Bronco – sung in my best “OJ” voice back in 1994. A favorite from my Kiss days was Dingle-Balls On My I-ROC – sung to the tune of Jingle Bell Rock.

Here’s one to the tune of Little Town of Bethlehem:

Oh little lounge in Somerville, you see a few here and there

In Teele, Magoun and Ball Square too, and many in Davis Square

Oh how we miss Pat Connelly’s, Frascatis and Pine Tree

Rail Side is gone, but going strong is Rosebud and Johnny D’s

How about The 12 Days of Christmas Past?:

On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me:

12 coats from Cummings,

11 ties from Gorins,

10 belts from Kresge’s,

9 coats from Parke Snows,

8 cards from Woolworths,

7 bras from Bradlees,

6 toys from Lechmere’s,

5 scarves from Grants!

4 shirts from Mickey Finn’s,

3 hats from Sparks, 2 meals at The Venice,

and some smokey socks from Bargain Center too!

Here are some others that I thought of:

All I Want For Christmas Is My Residential Tax Exemption

I’ll Be At Home Depot For Christmas

Deck the Guy Who Blocked My Driveway

Frosty’s At Sligo’s

Redbones The Red Meat Restaurant

Rocking Around The Rotary

We Three Aldermen

I‘ll Have A Flashing Blue Christmas

Chickens Roasting At McKinnon’s

I Saw A Parking Control Officer Ticketing Santa Claus

It Came Down Rt. 16 From Revere

Grandma Got Run Over By A Jogger

This year Mayor Joe Curtatone assembled The Mayors Carolers to serenade local VNA’s and nursing facilities. Singers from our senior chorus The Moonlighters as well as a few aldermen and City Hall workers visited several locations singing their hearts out and spreading holiday cheer. A great time was had by all.

No matter what your favorite holiday song is, you can bet that you will hear it over and over again on the radio, on TV commercials and in stores. Of course, you can do what I do and play your own holiday music. If you do download your own songs, don’t forget Elvis. For me, the best Christmas song of all time is The Singing Dogs barking their version of Jingle Bells!