by Robert J. L. Publicover

I have read enough on gay marriage in the past few months to feel like I could write a book or have at least read a few. I have watched Governor Romney do his best to campaign for an early Presidential run or at the very least a shot at George Bush’s next cabinet. There have been great arguments on both sides and some very bad ones including most of those of the Catholic church which seems to have forgotten the separation of church and state.

Many gay activists won’t like the fact that I have not been a big proponent of gay marriage. I think it may be too much too soon. However, I don’t see any other way of getting equal rights. The court system seems to be the only way to get there from here and the Massachusetts Supreme Court has said marriage is the answer.

I remember only too well, 12 years ago when my own partner was in Somerville Hospital, critically ill with AIDS. I had one Doctor, young enough to know better question why I was even in the room with him. “Who exactly are you, anyway?”

He could have had me thrown out but the nurses knew better. I watched a number of long time partners lose everything that they had helped acquire when their partners died of AIDS and greedy family jumped in to get what they could. Even now, I know one couple (and so do many of you) who have been together for 53 years. One of them is sick and without the right legal papers, his partner could lose everything. They have the right papers. “Straight” couples need only that marriage certificate.

I’m not exactly Somerville’s gay icon but I came out long ago in this column and told the world that I’m gay. The treatment I get in this fine city could not be better. That doesn’t make me equal if I want to be in a relationship. I hope to do that again one day and the next time around I don’t plan to have to work so hard to make sure my partner and I are protected by the law.

Equality is a simple thing. I can never agree with those that say that gay, never mind gay marriage is against God’s law. If God didn’t want gays and lesbians on the planet, he would have not made something close to 7 percent (my opinion) this way. God doesn’t make mistakes. Of course it wasn’t “Adam and Steve”, another bad cliche of the right. Of course it well might have been Ethan and Samuel about a couple of generations down the road. Gay, the word, may be new but the reality sure isn’t.

A couple of weeks from now, I intend to join my friends Vincenza and Julianne when they go to Somerville City Hall to get a marriage license. It will be a proud day of equality for many. The people of the Commonwealth will see over the next couple of years that gay/lesbian marriage doesn’t hurt the family or anyone else. Love is love. The amendment banning gay marriage will go down to a sound defeat in 2006.

Equality will win in Massachusetts. We will look back in 20 years and wonder what the fuss was all about. But we will be equal while we are wondering.