by Neil W. McCabe

Five local comedians entertained July 16 at The Somerville News @ Toast comedy night at the Union Square vibe den.

“This summer comedy rooms are closing everywhere, it is so great that The News is supporting comedy and giving people a chance to see some very funny comics. I especially liked the host for the comedy night, he was very funny,” said Brian Gordon, who hosted the night, standing in for the regular host, Baratunde.

“It was my first time at Toast and it blew me away—just everything. The décor, the employees and the audience really into it,” he said. “It is an intimate place to perform.”

Gordon, a Somerville resident, was an energetic emcee, who had a great comity with the other performers: Eric Cheung, Sandy Asai, Gregg Thibodeau, P. J. Walsh and the headliner, Marlene Welch.

Gordon, who once lived in alone in cabin in Vermont, said he was in a men’s room at a rest stop when he noticed it had a changing table with instructions in Braille.

First, he thought about who would actually have to use the changing table in the middle of nowhere. Then, he wondered what kind of jerk the car’s driver must be, he said.

Cheung opened the night with a strong set. He told the audience that he was half Chinese and half Italian, and when he tells people this the common reactions is: great mix. He has heard this so many times that he is thinking of changing his name to 98.5.

Sandy Asai, who is of Japanese descent, said that she was once had an abusive boyfriend who taught himself Chinese so he could boss her.

She said she had to learn Chinese, so he would know that when she ignored him, she was disobedient, not illiterate.

The next comic, Gregg Thibodeau, who also lives in the city, was a troupe member of the Walsh Brothers’ legendary Great and Secret Comedy Show.

Thibodeau gave the crowd a stream of bizarre observations and anecdotes in the style of Steven Wright.

“I picked up hitchhiking chicken. When I asked where he wanted to go, he just told me to make a U-turn and leet him off,” he said.

“I went into a 7-11, and the woman at the counter had a red dot on her forehead. I asked her if she was Indian. She said, ‘No, I’ve just been shot,’” he said.

An unscheduled comic, P. J. Walsh, said he heard about the comedy night and asked Gordon if he could perform on the bill, Gordon said.

] Gordon said he was not surprised that someone like Walsh would drop in. Walsh loves to perform and so he was brought up to the mike.

Walsh played off his Boston Irish and Catholic upbringing. He said loves the sound of the word, Nazarene when it is used in the name of a church. It is like the name of a cookie. “Would you like some nazerenes?”

He was also amazed how large Cape Cod grows the poorer the person you are speaking with. Walsh said a friend of his told him that he had just bought on the Cape. “Really where on the Cape?”

“Weymouth.”

The headliner, Marlene Welch, broke the silence on the fetish women have the young men sent to Boston as Mormon missionaries.

Welch, who is an African-American, said she is intimidated by the notion that one day she will have to be a black mother.

Black mothers have a reputation for being overly tough. One day her own mother called her into the house, while she was playing with her friends. Welch told her mother that she wanted to stay outside and continue playing double Dutch. Hearing this, her mother stormed outside and in front of Welch’s friends and yelled, “If you don’t get in the house, I’ll double your Dutch!”

“What does that mean?” Welch asked the audience, rolling her eyes.

The next Somerville News Comedy Night @ Toast will be Aug. 6, said Baratunde, who is the night’s permanent host. Because Baratunde will be the comic-in-residence at Harvard Square’s Comedy Studio, he said that Erin Judge will be his guest host. Judge was the headliner for the June 25 Comedy Night’s opening night.