By Joseph A. Curtatone

(The opinions and views expressed in the commentaries of The Somerville Times belong solely to the authors of those commentaries and  do not reflect the views or opinions of The Somerville Times, its staff or publishers)

Whatever you celebrate, the holidays are a time to spend with family and often reconnect with people we may have lost touch with. Some of us send Christmas cards, and others write letters updating friends and family with the events that have marked our lives throughout the past year. Though I look forward to holiday notes filled with warmth and well wishes, I do wish we could all carry this sense of connection with us throughout the year.

The holiday season compels us to think of those whom we haven’t seen or spoken to, and think, “It’s been far too long.” It’s unfortunately a natural occurrence. We are all busy and there is always a task at hand, an errand to be run and something else that presses us with urgency. We have to get to work and complete the project that’s been hanging around, stagnant for weeks, leaving our co-workers or bosses—for me, that’s all of you—impatiently tapping their feet. We have to get to the grocery store and put food on the table for our families. The kids need to be taken to sports practice, music lessons, karate lessons, and picked up afterward, so that we can give them a rich life full of experiences. We have to get to the bank and manage our money so we can handle all the demands upon us.

For perhaps just a short time each night, we have time to ourselves. We seek a little escape; a way to forget all the daily pressures that life presents us with. Maybe we read a book, watch a movie or some TV. Maybe we just crash, hoping to get some sleep so we can do it all again tomorrow. In today’s world, even our personal time is punctuated by countless interruptions, if we let it be. The cell phone vibrates or chimes alerting us of an email from work, practically a shout demanding our immediate attention.

It’s not only the constant demands we face that can cause us to lose touch with others. As the days, then weeks, then months pile up, there is so much to say that connecting with an old friend or family member that lives far away becomes an urgent demand unto itself. Saul Bellow wrote in a letter to Martin Amis, “I see that I’ve become a really bad correspondent. It’s not that I don’t think of you. You come into my thoughts often. But when you do it appears to me that I owe you a particularly grand letter. And so you end in the “warehouse of good intentions: ‘Can’t do it now.’ ‘Then put it on hold.’”

If I can make a humble suggestion, it’s this: Don’t put off contacting someone you care about and haven’t spoken with in too long because you feel, like Bellow, that your correspondence won’t be enough. It’s the smallest gestures that can touch us the most. When someone holds the door for you, gives you a smile and friendly, unforced “have a nice day” at the store, when someone helps you pick up the groceries that fell out of your bag, when sitting in traffic and someone finally stops and lets you take that left-hand turn: It’s the small things that can brighten our days. It’s the same with staying in touch. Take the minute to send that email, send that text, or drop a funny greeting card in the mail for no reason other than to say, “hello, thinking of you.”  When we have a few minutes, instead of popping on the TV and zoning out, pick up the phone and call that friend or family member you haven’t talked to recently. And when people reach out to you, return that email, that text, that phone call. Even if it’s short, let them know that they are not far from your thoughts.

I hope all of you enjoyed a holiday season of love, laughter, friends and family. Let’s try to make it last the entire year.