On The Silly Side by Jimmy Del Ponte

(The opinions and views expressed in the commentaries of The Somerville News belong solely to the authors of those commentaries and do not reflect the views or opinions of The Somerville News, its staff or publishers.)

(Just a head’s up, this week it’s ‚ÄúOn The Cranky Side‚Äù)

When I stop to let another car go in front of me in traffic, I expect some sort of a thank you – it can be a nod, a wave, a flash of the lights – something. The drivers that give no thanks must think they are doing me a favor by letting me accommodate them. Who are they that they think people should just automatically stop for them and they don’t have to be polite enough to acknowledge the gesture? This may definitely be another character flaw that I can add to the long list I have already, but I don’t think so – it’s just plain common decency.

What is even worse is when the driver you let cut in front of you is on the cell phone. They look right at you and don’t even bat an eye. Is it a Somerville thing to expect a thank you? I don’t think so. They say that you should do nice things just for the sake of doing something nice – I say baloney – that doesn’t apply to driving. On the road is where you meet every idiot known to mankind…it’s a war zone out there. Everyone has to get to where they are going as fast as humanly possible.

How about the rotary at Powder House? That’s a horror show. When I am at the blinking red light on Powder House Blvd, waiting to enter the ‚Äúcircle of hell‚Äù, I notice something. The balloon heads that are supposed to stop at the stop sign on College Ave coming down from Tufts don’t stop. You know you don’t. Well guess what? You are not going to get in front of me! Sometimes I start talking crazy talk even when there’s no one in the truck. I say things like: ‚Äúcome on, try to get in front of me‚ĶI’m in this big truck and you’re in a little itty-bitty economy car.‚Äù And you beautiful ladies out there drive me nuts as well – okay, some (not all) act like it is an honor for cars to stop to let you go. Isn’t it bad enough that you are out of most of our leagues in the dating world without belittling us on the road as well?

And while we’re on the subject, thanks to those rolling humongous woofer and bass blasting people who you can feel coming a mile away. I appreciate you loosening a few of my fillings while cranking up your music. ‚ÄúApple bottom jeans and the boots with the fur‚Ķ‚Äù (I actually like that song) ‚ÄúShawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low‚Ķ‚Äù It’s okay to blast that tune, but take it easy on our eardrums, will ya?

I saw a 1969 GTO coming up on my left while driving on Route 93 last week – I said to the boys: ‚Äúlook at this on the left, a 1969 Pontiac GTO, one of the premiere muscle cars of all time.‚Äù One of my sons said: ‚ÄúDad, that sounded like a commercial.‚Äù I was really excited to see such a car in cherry condition – I gave the guy a thumbs up, and he gave me a dirty look…what a jerk.

 
I do nice things without expecting a thank you every so often. When the bottle and can collector people are out front I always have a bag for them. The other morning I stopped to get a Herald from the machine in front of Dunkies in Davis Square – there were three quarters on top of the machine. Did I take them? No. I even pick up after other people’s dogs sometimes up the park (if I have an extra bag) – I try to be a decent human being. But, if I am on College Ave and I stop to let you turn down Kidder Ave, I expect some sort of ‚Äúthanks.‚Äù That’s just the way I am, because the world don’t owe you a living – will it kill ya to thank me, for crying out loud?

And while we’re on the subject, when someone holds a door open for you, say thank you. Who are these people who think I’m the doorman? I held a door for a guy the other day and I heard nothing, so I said: ‚Äúyou’re welcome.‚Äù (Of course I mumbled it under my breath) So when I came to the second door at the top of the stairs, I only opened it a crack and let it close as I squeezed through…I know, I’m sick.

The same people who don’t say thank you when you let them go in front of you, are probably the same ones who will scream an obscenity at you if you don’t let them pass. I am getting really sick of driving – bring back horses. And now we have more scooters and bicycles to deal with on the road. If everyone just gave the other guy a little break, it would be a lot more pleasant on the roads. And one more thing, your destination is no more important than the other guy (unless you’re driving your pregnant wife to the delivery room).

I realize that Somerville is trying to make bicycle riding safer, as well they should, but you bikers have to give us drivers a break too. Let’s all share the road, shall we? Cyclists should adhere to all traffic lights and stop signs. You guys are going to give me a heart attack. You just come out of nowhere without any warning – and do you cyclists think it’s a good idea to listen to headphones while riding in thick traffic? Just today there was a mad cyclist on McGrath Highway, weaving in and out of 9:00 am traffic – and right behind him was another daredevil cutting in and out between cars – tossing common sense and safety to the wind.

Let’s swallow our pride, stop driving like nuts and share the road. It wouldn’t take an awful lot of exertion to say thank you when someone shows you a courtesy. Let’s also get off the cell phones and concentrate on driving. Thank you for reading my rant, and I’ll see you at the rotary.

Please e-mail your comments to Jimmy at: jimmydel@rcn.com