I've seen U2 twice before,
so I'm good. I would love to get the coveted ducats for the kids, but
I'm afraid they will have to be among the thousands of fans that will
be standing outside. Now, the radio stations at this point (I am
writing this on Sunday) still have not officially divulged the "secret
location." Okay, now here's where I make a few more enemies. What's the
big deal? Look at yourselves! Some of you are willing to take out a
second or third mortgage in order to get tickets. I know Bono is a very
nice man who does a lot for good causes, but he's still only a man. You
would think that the messiah himself is coming to the Somerville
Theatre.

Of course it's a big deal to many people, and that's
great! I just think that it's not fair that true fans can't buy tickets
(although that may change). Right now, the only way you can win is to
listen to several radio stations that are giving them away through call
in contests. Oh you can bet that some of the station mucky mucks will
be in the audience. I dropped a couple of hints around the city and in
some of my former radio station circles.

The Somerville Theatre
has had many famous stars on it's stage. Tallulah Bankhead, Busby
Berkeley and Francis X Bushman to name a few. I never played at the
Theatre, but I did work as the marquee changer one summer. I put up a
slightly offensive message once to amuse my friends! Other notables
that have graced the grand stage of the Somerville Theatre are Joan
Baez and Bruce Springsteen (okay, The Jonas Brothers too).

Nothing
would please me more than to come through with tickets to this big
shindig, but I can only do so much. Over the years I have been
approached by many friends and acquaintances for various concert
tickets. I stopped working at Kiss 108 in 1998 and every year since,
someone still calls me for tickets to their annual Jingle Ball and the
Kiss Concert. I am too proud to ask for tickets for myself, never mind
for casual friends and "barely knowns."

The only time I actually
asked a higher up for tickets to a concert was when I was working at
Oldies 103 and I heard that Paul McCartney was coming to the garden. I
was fortunate enough to get very decent tickets and watched the concert
with tears in my eyes. Thanks Gregg! People have traded me some great
items for certain concert tickets in the past. I have gotten some
signed baseballs and other great sports memorabilia. I am still waiting
for a case of O'Douls from a guy who I got Janet Jackson tickets for
years ago. Hey, he offered, I came through, he reneged. "And he still
hasn't brought what I'm looking for."

I dropped hints with a
few of my hooked up friends in the business, but let's face it, it
doesn't look good. I told my kids that the next time U2 plays at a
venue that gives everyone a fair shot at tickets, their mom or me will
get them tickets. I don't want to be one of those people who ask for
tickets. I had to remind my kids of all the great concerts they already
attended – Neil Diamond, Keane, Alice Cooper, Coldplay, Ringo Starr,
Edgar Winter, The Police and even Britney Spears!

We live so
close to Davis Square that we will probably be able to hear Sunday,
Bloody Sunday on freaking Wednesday. There will no doubt the diehard
fans in sleeping bags sprawled out up and down Holland and Elm Streets.
These poor souls will be under the delusion that there will be some
last minute tickets sold around show time. For their sake I hope there
are.

One thing that I haven't even thought of is, what if they
don't even play at the Somerville Theatre at all? For a top secret
location, an awful lot of people have found out. It reminds me of an
episode of The Andy Griffith Show when Barney Fife leaked out that an
armored car full of gold bullion was coming through Mayberry. It got so
crazy that they had to change their plans. Watch U2 end up playing at
The Regent Theatre in Arlington (they are owned by the same company).

I
hope the famed Irish quartet does play in Davis Square, because I would
have something in common with them – I played at Johnny D's, Redbones
and The Surrey Room behind the Rosebud!

I still sometimes
mispronounce the lead singers name and that really riles my son. I call
him Bo-no, as in Sonny Bo-no. Then he corrects me and says "it's Bono,
say it Dad – Bono!" Oh, like mono? Sorry Joe.

My favorite
saying when there is so much hub- bub about a band is that "I wouldn't
pay that much to see them if they were playing in my living room." That
would be a real bummer, because I would actually have to do a lot of
cleaning before the "one named wonder" and his mates entered my
cluttered house.

I'm sorry, but if you want to see me act like
these U2 enthusiasts, then announce that Elvis, Frank Sinatra or John
Lennon is somehow magically coming to the Somerville Theatre – then I
would pull a Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible and lower myself from the
ceiling. I can dream…I might even do that if Elvis Costello, David
Bowie or Michelle Pfeiffer showed up on the Somerville Theatre stage as
well.

Here is my prediction – because of all the publicity
surrounding the Davis Square U2 concert location, I believe it will be
moved. But just in case they do play at The Somerville Theatre, you can
park in my yard on Hall Ave for 10 bucks! And if you want a new friend
forever, get me 4 tickets to the concert, wherever it is! I certainly
hope it's 'a beautiful day' for all. Oh, and by the way, I am changing
my name to a one word moniker. From now on please call me Oldo. You can
email Jimmy direct at jimmydel@rcn.com.