On The Silly Side by Jimmy Del Ponte

(The opinions and views expressed in the commentaries of The Somerville News belong solely to the authors of those commentaries and do not reflect the views or opinions of The Somerville News, its staff or publishers.)

Payback is a powerful thing. I remember my mother pointing her finger at me and saying, “wait until you have your own kids!” and, “I hope your children aren’t as mean to you as you are to me!”

Back then, we never thought that mom’s words would ever come true.  We weren’t trying to hurt our parents and make them crazy. We were teenagers. Raging hormonal hazards.

At one time when I was around 15, all I wanted to do was stand on the corner of Bay State and Kidder Avenues.  About 20 of us would prop ourselves up against former Somerville Mayor William Donovan’s fence, and hold court for hours. We’d just hang around and sing, joke, talk, and laugh for hours. Different friends would come and go sort of like shift changes. Soon, some of us were driving and we would pile into a parents car. We also had our favorite munching spots to congregate at such as Harold’s Luncheonette in Ball Square and Friendly’s restaurant at the corner of Highland Avenue and Cedar Street.

I now have teenage sons who seem to enjoy the fine art of hanging around. One of their favorites is to be dropped off at an area mall for a couple of hours. I hate it. Too many roving bands of kids from different cities. Malls are usually the last choice.

The last thing my dad used to say as I was heading out the door was, “make sure you have a dime in your pocket so you can call if anything happens, or if you’re going to be late.” Today, I am constantly reminding my kids to take their house keys, and don’t forget their cell phones. One son seems to always forget to charge his phone so it becomes just a useless hunk of plastic and diodes. The other one never forgets to keep his charged. Thankfully they usually are together, which is very cool for brothers 22 months apart. My younger brother had his own friends, and we had completely different lives. I am glad my sons share friends and interests.

Anytime my kids say they are going down the square or skating or to the mall, I am a nervous wreck. Why? Because of the danger that is lurking out there, or because I remember the way I was when I was there age? It’s a little of both. Sometimes I wish they were back in that double stroller. I was in full control back then. I knew where they were every second and I liked it that way. Letting go is very difficult for me.

I remember my father telling me stories of hopping on and off street cars and sneaking into movie theatres when he was a kid in the 30’s.  It must have been hard being so mischievous while carrying those five pound candy bars that they bought for a nickel!

We want to let our kids do things with their friends but our memories of our own youth makes it difficult. I was, at times, a sneaky little liar.  I was pretty good at pulling the wool over my parent’s eyes. I am not proud of it, but it still happened. I want to be able to trust my kids. I will until I have reasons otherwise.

Both my teenage sons play music in the same band, belong to several community groups, and keep their marks pretty decent, so they definitely deserve a little fun. They can’t be cooped up in the house all the time. It’s just that every time they are out having fun, I am a nervous wreck until they are home safe. Thankfully Somerville has many youth related opportunities for kids today. If they are doing a Somerville thing, there is always a counselor, fellow parent, or familiar police officer around.

My adult daughter often complains that she was never given the freedom that her brothers now enjoy. That was because she was teenager in the 90’s, a very pretty young lady, and she had an over protective crazy Italian father. I kept tabs on her in a white Camaro convertible. Everyone in Somerville knew who her Daddy was and that he was a very visible and hands on father. By the way, she turned out just fine!

I have just started telling my sons some of the crazy stuff I did as a kid. SOME of the things. It’s just like my dad used to say when he told us stories of his childhood; “Things were different then!”  They will never hear some of the nutty things we did as kids, because things were …different then.

Hanging around with friends is okay as long as there is a limit. They can’t hang around every day of the week. If their marks show any signs off suffering then hang time gets cut down. Being a former teenager myself, I know what to look for as far as signs of “strange” or  “suspicious” activities, actions, or behavior.

I took my kids to an Alice Cooper concert a couple of years ago around Halloween at The Orpheum Theatre. When they said, “dad, what’s that smell?” I said, “That is the smell, that if I ever smell it on you, you’re in big trouble!”

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We are so proud of the Somerville youth who participated in last Saturday’s prestigious “Celebrate Somerville” festivities. Once again the city’s young people showed their talent, dedication, and pride.