On The Silly Side by Jimmy Del Ponte

(The opinions and views expressed in the commentaries of The Somerville News belong solely to the authors of those commentaries and do not reflect the views or opinions of The Somerville News, its staff or publishers.)

Two articles two weeks in a row about the snow? There is so much to talk about regarding the tons of ever graying, and slowly disappearing white stuff, and how it affects us.

The snow has made the streets much narrower. If you have a side view mirror, and you park on the street, you may be kissing it goodbye. My heart goes out to everyone who has to park on the street. I have a Tahoe and it is a very tight squeeze to get by two cars parked on the street.

Sometimes I just hold my breath, close my eyes and hope for the best. I haven’t nicked anyone yet. My mirrors can fold in with the push of a button. But being such a big vehicle, it is still very close. I feel bad for the Fed Ex, W.B. Mason, and Post Office trucks that have to get by. Let’s face it, our streets were not designed for parking in snowstorms.

A huge hat’s off has to go out to the DPW for its diligent effort to remove the snow and return our main drags to normalcy. I am sorry for beeping at my friends as they are operating the huge bull dozers.

Some people just throw caution to the wind and drive like maniacs. What would possess someone to drive through Ball Square at 6pm on Saturday night at 40 miles per hour with a light snow falling?

The road is starting to become slick making stopping very tricky. The dancing school is letting out so there are kids walking out to cars with their parents. Still drivers are speeding through the square. I see one pizza delivery car going especially fast. I think we should all be more careful when the weather conditions are bad. You know it and I know it that once some drivers get out on the road they are dangerous. Just as we have Parking Control Officers, we should have Driving Control Officers who can ticket speeders.

To make matters worse, the bikers and joggers are still out in force. Talk about dare devils. It is hard enough driving through snow-bank narrowed roads without joggers and bikers in the way. Last week a guy was riding a bike in heavy traffic, in Magoun Square with a small baby in one of those over the shoulder harnesses, with no helmet. Does anyone really need to be someplace that bad enough that they put their lives in danger?

Don’t you love the moron who digs his car out and leaves a huge mound of snow on the roof? It blows onto your windshield as you are driving behind them, obstructing your vision and wreaking possible havoc. They are cousins to the dopes who only scrape a small four inch section of snow off their windshields, just big enough to see out of.

And once again, could people just slow down a little while this snow is still around? Small kids could be behind mounds of piled up snow. These high piles of snow are dangerous if you all of a sudden emerge into a crosswalk. That’s why we should all slow the hell down while there is snow all over the place.

Absentee landlords should make a deal with some of their tenants. Give them a break on the rent if they agree to be responsible for clearing off the sidewalks in front of their cash cows. Walking safely should not be a luxury, it is the law.

Churches should also clear the walks in front of their buildings. The Lord puteth, and the Lord taketh away…. only very slowly.  We must help.

The real pains in the neck are the small icy paths made from people walking on un- shoveled snow. The trail they make eventually gets very bumpy, icy, and treacherous. If someone had shoveled when they should have, it would be clear and safe walking.  Only one person can get by at a time on these tiny ruts. I guess doing the right thing is just too much to ask of from some people. To those  who have still not dug their cars out…please don’t toss all the snow on my clean sidewalk.

Body shops around the area will be raking in the bucks from repairing smashed side view mirrors. You can also be like my friend Bob and just duck tape it back on. Please slow down, and be aware that behind a snow bank, there may be someone trying to cross the street.

And next time it snows, shovel right away before it turns to cement. Joggers, give us a break. Hit the bike trail and stay out of traffic…please? One more for the road…slow down and Go Steelers!