Reality Bites by James Norton for the week of February 1

My glowing review of Brokeback Mountain – everyone should see this movie!

I‚Äôm just kidding, I haven‚Äôt seen it – yet.  But, in the immortal words of Detective Robert Goren from Law and Order ‚Äì Criminal Intent:  ‚Äúmade you look.‚Äù

  Every once in a while I take stock in what I‚Äôm doing to creatively express myself.  This would be known as a creative ‚Äúself doubt‚Äù or ‚Äúself loathing‚Äù period.  The twisted thing is that to ‚Äúwriters‚Äù its just part of the process ‚Äì which is a good thing ‚Äì because according to an ancient Chinese Proverb:    ‚ÄúGreat doubts deep wisdom.  Small doubts little wisdom.‚Äù
   Every once in a while, my writing gets away from me ‚Äì I seem aloof and my rants sometimes pedantic ‚Äì but I don‚Äôt realize it until it has already happened.
   I‚Äôm not talking about those times when I‚Äôm trying to make a statement or being purposely obscure.  There‚Äôs meaning in that – at least to me and one other person of course.  I‚Äôm talking about other times, when I think I‚Äôm being whimsical and supercilious.
    See, there I go again.
    So I guess this is one of ‚Äúthose‚Äù weeks for me.  What I mean by that is I let time slip away from me and then all of a sudden its time to write another column.  It‚Äôs not so much a chore, because I actually love writing, but the chore part comes in the time portion of the equation.  I need time to slip into my creative mode ‚Äì to forget about the fifteen hundred things I have to do every single day, seven days a week at work.
    Believe me, that‚Äôs tougher than it sounds.
    In the past I would sometimes feel like I was ‚Äúphoning it in‚Äù to paraphrase a former editor of this paper.  Well looking back I say to hell with that kind of talk ‚Äì that‚Äôs arrogance from someone who can‚Äôt even write.  It doesn‚Äôt matter what I write about ‚Äì the writing is an expression of who I am, not anyone else.  And to me, that does matter.
     I like making commentary about this and that ‚Äì sometimes vague and contemptuously sarcastic and other times well defined and abstruse in nature.  Its the readers reaction to what I‚Äôve written that is the creamy filling inside the flaky pastry ‚Äì that‚Äôs the part that gives any writer pleasure from this creative medium.  Making someone react in some way.  I don‚Äôt care if you laugh, cry, cringe, get pissed off ‚Äì it doesn‚Äôt matter to me ‚Äì just react to what I‚Äôve written in some way and I‚Äôm happy.
     Seems almost narcissistic, doesn‚Äôt it?
     I was thinking the other day about how I‚Äôve been fighting this temptation to go to the powers that be and pitch me writing a multi-part series on the film industry ‚Äì specifically the various awards shows and venues that have taken place this year from early January until the end of the first week in March.  For example – the Golden Globes were two weeks ago, the ten day long Sundance Film Festival just ended this past Sunday, which that same day also saw the Screen Actors Guild Awards and this Friday will be the Writers Guild Awards.  All this gearing up to the Independent Spirit Awards and the better known Academy Awards ‚Äì both in just a little over a month from now.
      This time of year is like heaven for someone like me ‚Äì not just because I know little factoids about the awards, the films, the writers, the studios and other associated things ‚Äì that crap is great when playing Trivial Pursuit ‚Äì but because as a lover of the art of film, it is satisfying to me to see that through televised awards shows, film festivals (Sundance, Tribeca, Edinburgh, Stockholm, IFC, Cannes, etc.) and other types of exposure – everyday people can begin to see the entire medium as an art form ‚Äì not just a once in a while Friday night at the movies or an occasional rental at Blockbuster.
       Speaking of going to the movies ‚Äì you know that I‚Äôve only been to one regular movie theater in the past two years ‚Äì to see Batman Begins with my wife and my kids.  I tend to buy movies on DVD and UMD format and if I‚Äôm lucky, I get an advanced copy of a movie just released (because a friend of mine is a professional movie reviewer/writer), so I tend to stay away from the loud and dirty mega-movie-plexes because they just don‚Äôt have the character of the old movie houses and they‚Äôre too damned distracting.
        Hey, I‚Äôm not saying anyone should do it the way I do it ‚Äì I‚Äôm dying to see a few recently released films (Brokeback Mountain, Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang and even Big Momma‚Äôs House 2) but for now I will wait.  Soon enough I‚Äôll be able to watch them all, at home, in my car, at work, on my PSP ‚Äì wherever.  Listen, I‚Äôm far from being a cheap bastard, ask anyone who knows me, but I don‚Äôt see why I should give a big theater chain a fortune to see a movie once, when I can spend $25.00 and see that movie anytime, anywhere.
          Maybe it‚Äôs me.