On The Silly by Jimmy Del Ponte

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In the 70’s, Somerfest sponsored free concerts on the blocked off streets of Somerville. In 1978 there was a concert at Powder House Park featuring Shadowfax, Derringer and Zenophon Рit was free. J. Geils played at Tufts in 1971 Рwe snuck in, so it too was free. Remember when we went to see rock groups at the old Boston Garden, The Music Hall and The Orpheum? I remember seeing Queen open for Mott The Hoople in the 70’s. I also saw The Who at The Music Hall (Keith Moon fell off his drum set) and several bands at the Garden РI think the tickets were like $8 or $12 each.

Someone would almost always spill a beer on me and I would go home with wet, beer-scented pants. So now I am older and one would have to think that those days are in the past, right? Wrong!

Very recently I took my boys and a friend of theirs to see The Police at the T.D. Banknorth Garden and you guessed it РI came home with wet pants Рbut times have changed and this time it was a little different. In the old days we’d get a buzz on and go to the concert where some idiot who had one too many would drench me with his beer as he yelled “right on” or some colorful expletive, but at The Police concert it was a Coke and I spilled it on myself (sort of). I had just gotten back from the third bathroom trip with one of my sons (3 boys with me and yes, 3 separate trips) and I had a pretzel in one hand and a Coke in the other. I put the Coke between my legs and of course the cover popped off and drenched my pants, two coats under my seat and even the guy sitting in front of me. I had to sit through the concert with wet, sticky pants soaked right through to my underwear.

Okay, so let’s re-cap РI paid $97.50 each for four tickets (in the nosebleed section), t-shirts were $35.00 each, a pretzel was either $3.50 or $4.00 each, the Cokes were $4 each and I had to pay $25.00 to park. I almost had to take out a home equity line for one concert – and oh yeah, did I mention that they didn’t even play Roxanne! That’s like Skynryd not performing “Freebird” or Alice Cooper not singing “School’s Out”.

Oh yeah ‚Äì it took us 20 minutes to get out of the damned parking garage. Quite frankly, if I had seen Sting after the show, I think I would have probably smacked him in his tantric face – talk about being stung. Yeah I‚Äôm probably supposed to say something like: ‚Äúwell, as long as the kids had a good time…blah blah blah‚Äù ‚Äì NO – I am going to complain! I want the old days back – I can‚Äôt afford the new days.

Oh, and one more thing Рthe only place my father took me was to Trum Field to watch the (free) fireworks on July 4th or to The Memorial Day Parade (another free event). He also took us to pick grapes in my grandfather’s yard. As a matter of fact, if my father was alive, he would have said something like: “$97.50 for one ticket? Who are you, Rockefeller? You gotta be soft!”

I say lets at least bring back those free Somerfest rock concerts Рthey were good enough for us when we were kids and they will be good enough for our kids. In any case, my boys have their own band now and it’s about time they start earning some dough and pay me back for the five hundred dollar “stinging”. So come on Mayor Joe Рbring back Somerfest РI can’t afford any more concerts at The Garden.

P.S. РDear Sting, because you didn’t play “Roxanne” for my $500.00 concert, you Sting-K! You can email Jimmy with comments directly at jimmydel@rcn.com