By William C. Shelton

(The opinions and views expressed in the commentaries of The Somerville News belong solely to the authors of those commentaries and do not reflect the views or opinions of The Somerville News, its staff or publishers.)

This summer represents something of a milestone for me. I’ve now been in Somerville longer than I lived in California, where I am ‚Äúfrom.‚Äù So, I’m thinking about the differences between there and here.

Just about every year when December arrives, I think that I must be self-destructive to live here. Decades ago, I stopped having the flashbacks and anxiety attacks associated with post-traumatic stress disorder. But depression is one of its legacies that I must regularly deal with. For some reason, the dark of Somerville’s winter gets it going.

This last winter was really bad. By evening, I’d feel so down that I didn’t even have the energy to heat up frozen dinners. I’d just crawl under the quilt with one and lick it.

Then, just after income tax return day, everything changes. Spring has the impact of a religious experience. The waxing sunshine and the explosion of new life make my spirits soar, and I wonder how I could live anywhere else.

Californians are often caricatured in the minds of New Englanders. It’s true that almost every nut cult in the history of the universe has at least one adherent in Los Angeles County.

But for the most part, Californians want and care about the same things that you do. They care about their children’s health and wellbeing. They want to be paid fairly for working hard. They don’t want to be continually stressed about money. They would like the streets to be clean and for things to get fixed when they break. They want government to be honest and effective. They would prefer to breathe clean air and live a long time.

Californians are more comfortable than Somervillians are in expressing warm feelings. They are more welcoming, but relationships don’t have the depth and endurance of those here.

Somervillians are more comfortable expressing negative feelings. They are less welcoming, but relationships are stronger and loyalties are tighter. Many people I know in Somerville have friendships that go back to high school, while I haven’t spoken to anyone that I went to high school with for over forty years.

Personally, I would prefer to live among people who easily express both positive and negative feelings. Having to conceal either one makes me feel lonely. But we must deal with the world as we find it.

One of the reasons that we find the differences in our world that I have described comes from how and why the people who came from Europe expanded across this continent. They formed communities along the East Coast. As within all communities, conflict was inevitable. The frontier provided a means of escape for those who were unable to work through the conflicts, or to live with their outcomes. It offered a new life to those who had messed up their old one, and opportunity to those who didn’t see much opportunity where they were.

As a group, those who went West were the least integrated into their old communities, with the least skills in resolving conflicts, building relationships, and sustaining community. The other side of the West’s celebration of individualism is its yearning for community.

In community, you are known, and you must find a way to live with those you have offended. Oddly enough, if you aren’t obligated to continually interact with others, it’s easier to be warm toward them. The consequences of their indifference, or their antagonism to your overtures, are greatly reduced. There are always others to interact with.

But strength, trust, and endurance in relationships don’t come from what we have in common. They come from how we deal with our differences, how we resolve our conflicts.

When the web of relationships is not strong enough to sustain community, it’s easier to attribute imagined evils to public figures, because you don’t know them. I often disagree strongly with Mayor Curtatone. (See my next column, for example.) But I can’t pretend that he is some cartoon-like villain, or that his policy choices are willfully malign, because I know him and find much to like about him.

There are other differences between here and California. On average, drivers here are much worse. I attribute this to the relatively lax enforcement of traffic laws here and the fact that New England cities weren’t built to accommodate the automobile. Within a few years, we will come to appreciate the latter.

California has rarely experienced the government corruption that regularly makes news in Massachusetts, and, per unit of service, government is more costly here. I see this as the consequence of one party controlling government so long that it becomes complacent.

Yet for all of the dissatisfactions that I might express about Somerville, its people are the best. They are honest, hardworking, loyal, realistic, and funny. We can argue heatedly and still remember that we like each other.

As I just wrote that, I remembered one night in the aldermanic chamber after a hearing on Assembly Square. Steve Post and I were yelling at each other at the top of our lungs. At some point, I looked at him and felt foolish. I quietly said, ‚ÄúI’m just so disappointed.‚Äù The soul of compassion, he replied, ‚Äúyeah. I know.‚Äù

So, much to the dismay and disgust of many of you, dear readers, I’m staying here.